Please don’t take it literally XD
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh’s daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.
Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years. (Don’t get it? Please highlight the next sentence grass = illegal drug)
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson; he brought the house down. (Don’t get it? Please highlight the next sentence: "brought the house down" = a term for comedian who manages to make all people laugh)
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning (beginning), Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q: What is one of the first thing that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A: They really raised Cain. (Don’t get it? Please highlight the next sentence: raise Cain= cause trouble)
Q: How long did Cain hate his brother?
A: As long as he was Abel(able)!
Q: Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible?
A: When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.
Q: Where is another mention of insurance in the Bible?
A: When David gave Goliath a piece of the rock.
Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David, he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A: The thought had never entered his head before?
Q: If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A: No, he already fell for it once.
Q: Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once. (Exodus 32:19 :P)
Q: Who was known as a Mathematician in the Bible?
A: Moses, he wrote the book of Numbers.
Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A: The area around the Jordan, the banks were always overflowing.
Q: How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
A: Because Job 16:12, 14, 16 says, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up: and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."
Q: Who was the straightest man in the bible?
A: Joseph, because the Pharaoh made him a ruler.
Enjoy!
:D