Archive for August 22, 2010

Some Old Jokes

Please don’t take it literally XD

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh’s daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.

Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years. (Don’t get it? Please highlight the next sentence grass = illegal drug)

Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson; he brought the house down. (Don’t get it? Please highlight the next sentence: "brought the house down" = a term for comedian who manages to make all people laugh)

Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning (beginning), Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Q: What is one of the first thing that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A: They really raised Cain. (Don’t get it? Please highlight the next sentence: raise Cain= cause trouble

Q: How long did Cain hate his brother?
A: As long as he was Abel(able)!

Q: Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible?
A: When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.

Q: Where is another mention of insurance in the Bible?
A: When David gave Goliath a piece of the rock.

Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David, he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Q: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A: The thought had never entered his head before?

Q: If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A: No, he already fell for it once.

Q: Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once. (Exodus 32:19 :P)

Q: Who was known as a Mathematician in the Bible?
A: Moses, he wrote the book of Numbers.

Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A: The area around the Jordan, the banks were always overflowing.

Q: How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
A: Because Job 16:12, 14, 16 says, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up: and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."

Q: Who was the straightest man in the bible?
A: Joseph, because the Pharaoh made him a ruler.

Enjoy!

:D

Posted August 22, 2010 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in Uncategorized

Learning Years

Pastor Bernard preached from Ps 90:12. Starting from some understanding of the Hebrew words behind the verse, he paraphrased the verse which more or less is as follows:

“Teach us to count and discern every period in my life that it may have certain objective in each period.”

Hmm, according to him, there are five periods in life.

a.) Learning Years

b.) Earning Years

c.) Investing Years

d.) Legacy Years

e.) Golden Years

Well, I shall not go into details for each years. (If you want to know the details, you can download it at http://www.sermonvault.com/ for just 3 USD :D :D)

For me, I am now in between learning years and earning years. After hearing his sermon, I guess I need to focus first on my study and work here. Yep, I will put a distance of 3 years between me and one particular goal.

After the church service, we went for dinner at Park Mall. Surprisingly, this place is always empty on Saturday night. We found the dining place to be empty.

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Yeah, it is time to get more serious with lab work!! :)

Kakashi Facebook-2

Posted August 22, 2010 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in Uncategorized