Archive for July 10, 2012

Dr. Robi’s Teaching 6, July, 2012: 93% Stress Free Parenting

Government have done considerable effort in suppressing juvenile delinquency.
They have come up with stricter rules and more treatment for the deviant youth.
However, the best way to solve juvenile delinquency, Dr. Robi argues, is by coming up with better parenting.
Fathers, for instance, should step up on the plate to nurture their children so they will reach their fullest potential.
In addition to that fathers should be the best cheer leaders and spiritual mentors for their children.

The role of parenting can be likened to the role of referees in a football match.
There are 7 roles of referees and how they correspond to parenting:

1.) There are two or more referees: Dad and Mom should team up.
2.) They back up and support: any disagreement between Mom and Dad has to be solved behind closed doors.
3.) Referees always control their emotion: parents should never lose temper in front of their children.
4.) Referees follow through the mistake done by the players: parents should be consistent in handling bad behavior the kids have.
5.) There are pre-established rules in football game: parents should never make rules and consequence on the spot.
6.) Referees are actively involved with the players: parents should be involved in children’s world too.
7.) Referees act more than they speak: parents should act more too, not just lecture their children.

There should be an objective in a family, be it to have more fun, to spend more time together or others.
Parents are the ones who decide it, not the children.
After all, family is an “absolute dictatorship” not a “democracy”.
In setting the rules and consequence in a family, parents should always remember:
– Rules before relationship result in resentment and rebellion.
– Relationship before rules result in respect.

Dr. Robi encourages parents to have a “family rule book”.
In it, parents should pre-established rules which the children should obey.
(Of course, parents should already establish good relationship with the children before pre-setting the rules).
Both “Do” and “Don’t” for children should then be followed with a natural consequence. For instance:

Kid: I do not want to wash my plate.
Mom: Are you sure? What is going to happen with the plate if you do not wash it after dinner?
Kid: It will stay dirty.
Mom: Exactly. And your dinner tomorrow will be served on a dirty plate.

Dr. Robi encourages parent to use yellow and red cards in the event children make serious mistakes.
When that happen, parents should order their children to sit still, stay quiet and do self introspection.
On the other hand, when the children make a very good behavior, parents should use a green card as a sign of approval.
Following the green card, parents should then tell children:

1.) What exact good thing children have done.
2.) Tell why it is good.
3.) How it impacts parents’ feeling

Parenting is all about parenting heart and attitude, not the behavior.

Posted July 10, 2012 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in Sermon

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