Inflections 15-16 February 2014: EMBRACE YOUR SINGLEHOOD


by Sun Ho

Valentine’s Day is not just for married couples and attached singles. It is for everyone!
Here is a special message just for the singles. Happy Valentine’s Day!

I have heard many singles say this: “If only I am married, then I can be happy and complete,” or “If only I am married, all my problems will go away.”
This type of thinking is a myth! If you are not happy and whole as a single, you are not going to be happy and whole when you are married.
your marriage will only be as good as your singleness.

Your relationship (friendship, love, relationship) is only as good as you are.


Singleness is NOT a problem. Some are single by circumstances, others by choice.
Jesus said some chose to be single for the sake of the kingdom (Matt 19:11-12); while Paul considered his singleness a “gift from God” (1 Cor. 7:7-8)
When God created Adam, He created him first a single

Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend [CULTIVATE] and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man…
~ Gen 2:15-16

God gave Adam talents, gifts, abilities and revelations-as a single! Marriage only came later!
Before Eve came along, God did everything in the Garden through ONE PERSON.

So, what should you do while you are single?
Just like the single man Adam was asked to “cultivate” the Garden, there are three things singles should cultivate:


1. Physical Attractiveness.
Physical attractiveness is really the confidence you exude from your own human body.

2. Communication Skills.
Communication is the key of life. We communicate through word, gesture and spirit:

  • Word… A meaningful conversation is one that is two way.
  • Gesture… Your body language shows when you are at ease/awkward with yourself.
  • Spirit… We communicate spirit-to-spirit, so it is often not in the words you say, but the spirit you carry.

3. Spirituality.
Grow in the Word, prayer, worship, gifts of the Holy Spirit. Be 100 percent passionately in love with Jesus.

Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
~ Ps 37:4


God made Adam single and that was NOT a defect.
The only defect was in his aloneness.

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
~ Gen 2:18

The kingdom of God is a kingdom of relationship. So while it is okay to be single, God doesn’t want us to be alone.
In fact, the better you are in relating to people, the more you are going to bring that positive relationship skill into your marriage one day.


1 Cor. 7:32-35 talks about being single or married with regards to ministry.
While you are single, you have opportunities to serve God in a way that those who are married cannot.

  • You have more freed up time & lifestyle.
  • You can easily do overseas missions.
  • You can devote more time to serve the Lord in church.

As you cultivate your SELF, your RELATIONSHIPS and your MINISTRY for Jesus, you will become a very attractive person
-spirit, soul & body- to both God and others around you.

(In fact, you probably won’t remain single for long!)


(Well, I know this is kinda late post. Still, I feel like keeping record of this edition of Inflection as it really teaches me something.
Hope you will find it insightful too Smile)

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