Book Review XXXIV: Four Things Women Want From A Man


Maturity. Decisiveness. Consistency. Strength

An early birthday present from bookstore friend!
Dr. Bernard wrote on the subject of manhood: how to be a better man and husband.
Well, some say women do not know what they want.
However, any woman definitely wants her man to be mature, decisive, consistent and strong.
So, what are these 4 traits? Let’s get started.

Pattern and Principles between husband and wife

When God first created Adam, He gave him job to do. Adam had to deal with work first before meeting Eve.
Eve, on the other hand, was created to help Adam. She dealt with relationship first.
Similarly, many husbands are too focused on their career or ministry that they neglect their family.
Wives have the natural tendency to help their husbands in the form of advice.
However, wives should only advise their husbands on important matters, not all matters.

Men and women have different roles in marriage. That’s the principles God established when He created Adam and Eve.

A man needs intimate companionship from a woman for his own good.
While a man wants to be a leader, he will definitely make countless blunder along the way. Hence, he needs a wife to help him.
God created women with inborn need to help. Men need the help women were created to give.

Some other differences between men and women:
– women feel the need to improve things (gradually, if necessary); men feel compelled to solve things (once and for all).
– women want to talk about things first; men want to fix things first and talk about it later (if ever).

In general, men express emotion less often than women.
Nevertheless, husbands should learn to express feeling to their wives.

Men want to quickly finish things whereas women may take a little longer.
In marriage, however, husbands must be patient toward wives whereas wives should respect husbands’ time.


It is the degree of acceptance of responsibility.
Mature men take responsibility for their thought, words and action. They refuse to blame others when they make a mistake.
When men begin to think like an adult, they will start to behave like one too.
To make mature decisions, men need values and principles.

Principles help men to determine right and wrong.
The devil often tempts men in the grey area.
To resist temptation, men need to acquire principles in advance. After all, the devil is a savvy salesman.
Some of the principles: "Honesty is the best policy," "You reap what you sow," “Life is brief, there is not time for everything.” 
Mature men think of consequences of their decisions in long term. Hence, they decide based on unchanging principles.


Mature men make quality decisions quickly and confidently.
They arrive at the correct solution sooner than later.
Mature men decide based on the word of God using the wisdom from God.

Some decisions are concerned with priority. How do we tell someone’s priority?
By looking at how where he/she spends the money and time.
Mature men can quickly decide about spiritual health, family and physical health as they spend their money and time on it.

Some decisions are reversible and some are not. When making a long term decisions, mature men take their time.

Mature men guard their time wisely. They are not always available at the request of others.
Mature men decide things based on God’s word. While God does not dictate decisions, He will guide in the decision making.
Sometimes, it is not so soon to receive wisdom from God in decision making.
We can keep praying and praying until God grants us the wisdom.


Consistency is firmness of character. It is ability to make quality decisions times and again, regardless temptation the devil offers.
Character is who we are when no one else is watching.
When our actions are in sync with our values, we will have peace in heart.
Mature men proclaim virtue of godliness and live it out.
When a man breaks becomes inconsistent in his language or behavior, his wife readily notices it and wants to know the reason.
Occasionally, a woman can overlook/forgive her husband’s inconsistency.
Nevertheless, mature men must be consistent as long as possible.
After all, as the principle says, “We reap what we sow.”

Some men procrastinate in making decision. Some others are impulsive in making decision.
Both are poor decision making skills.


Strength is a matter of integrity. It is courage to live out principles regardless of the crowd. 
Real men display strength from gentleness and kindness, not anger.
Real men control their thought, speech and action.
It may seem difficult to possess self control. But with God’s help, it is possible.

Posted June 20, 2016 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in A. R. Bernard, Book Review

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