Pastor Kong’s Sermon 11, February, 2017

How do we stay in love?
As time goes by, it is more challenging for the couples to stay in love.
Many couples say they are out of love.

1 Cor 7:3 GNB
Each should satisfy each other’s needs.

Different needs of men and women.

The needs of men #1: Sexual fulfillment.
Sex does not make a man lustful.
A guy thinks about sex once every 2-3 hours.
When a husband requests sex from wife, many times the wife rejects.
If  the wife rejects many times, husband will stop requesting.
1 Cor 7:5 MSG
Rejection from sex is an opportunity for satan to attack.
Good sex is the best form of spiritual warfare.
Marriage: commitment from the wife to be the only sexual partner for the husband.
If the wife wants to have a happy husband, she should initiate sex.
Proverb 14:1
Wife should give effort to make her husband happy to go home.

Need of women #1: Affection
A woman does not need sex as much as she needs affection.
1 Cor 7:3
She needs affection.
Affection: application of effects to produce an affect.
Husband must tell the wife “I love you”
Affection is husband kissing his wife in public in front of his ex-girlfriend.
Affection is the atmosphere. Sex is the special event.
We cannot have one without the other.

Need of men#2: recreational companionship.
Foundation of good marriage is friendship.
Husband and wife are best friend for one another.
How to be best friend? To do fun things together.
Wife needs to investigate what husband likes to do for fun and joins him.
Men are aggressive by nature.
Genesis 2:15
To keep the garden: to protect.
Men are protective by nature.
Men are naturally competitive.
If he likes to swim, join him to swim.

Need of women#2: conversation
When wife becomes the companion, he will open up and he will talk and talk with his wife.

Need of men #3: attractive spouse.
Wife is stimulated by ears. Husband is stimulated by eyes.
He needs attractive wife.
1 Sam 16:7
God looks at the heart but husband is not God.
Proverb 31:22
This wife knows tapestry and dresses well.
When she looks good, he feels good.
Wife should look good for him.
Wife does not have to look like a model but at least she should look like when he marries
We all age, but let’s age gracefully
Genesis 2:24
Cleave: chase after, pursue.
Before marriage, she is hard to get. She presents her best. Many guys chase after her. He has to up his game.
Why does he come home later and later?
Because the view at home is not interesting.
Do not let the husband lose the reason to pursue wife in the first place.

Need of women #3: honesty and openness.
Husband must be open with wife all the time.
Don’t let another woman know more than wife.
Wife feels safe when she knows all the thought and feeling of the husband.
John 15:15
Lord Jesus told the church, His bride, everything He knew.

Need of men #4: domestic place.
Home should be his fortress.
Husband dislikes trouble at home.
When he comes home, he does not want to start his day all over again like he does in office.
If the wife likes to nag, she drives the man to live on the roof.
Wife should make home first class and feel first class.

Need of women #4: financial support.
Marriage is partnership of equal shares.
There is joint account for spouse.
Wife is not designed  to be breadwinner. If she wants to work, it is her choice.

Need of men #5: respect and admiration.
Ephesians 5:33
Wife is to submit to the husband.
Husband interprets respect as love.
Respect: speak highly of, hold in high regard, praise.
Husband receives criticism from the world, he needs admiration from wife.
Even if there is nothing to praise, wife still must do it.

Need of women #5: family commitment.

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Posted February 18, 2017 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in Kong Hee, Sermon

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