Archive for the ‘A. R. Bernard’ Category

Book Review XXXIV: Four Things Women Want From A Man

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Maturity. Decisiveness. Consistency. Strength

An early birthday present from bookstore friend!
Dr. Bernard wrote on the subject of manhood: how to be a better man and husband.
Well, some say women do not know what they want.
However, any woman definitely wants her man to be mature, decisive, consistent and strong.
So, what are these 4 traits? Let’s get started.

Pattern and Principles between husband and wife

When God first created Adam, He gave him job to do. Adam had to deal with work first before meeting Eve.
Eve, on the other hand, was created to help Adam. She dealt with relationship first.
Similarly, many husbands are too focused on their career or ministry that they neglect their family.
Wives have the natural tendency to help their husbands in the form of advice.
However, wives should only advise their husbands on important matters, not all matters.

Men and women have different roles in marriage. That’s the principles God established when He created Adam and Eve.

A man needs intimate companionship from a woman for his own good.
While a man wants to be a leader, he will definitely make countless blunder along the way. Hence, he needs a wife to help him.
God created women with inborn need to help. Men need the help women were created to give.

Some other differences between men and women:
– women feel the need to improve things (gradually, if necessary); men feel compelled to solve things (once and for all).
– women want to talk about things first; men want to fix things first and talk about it later (if ever).

In general, men express emotion less often than women.
Nevertheless, husbands should learn to express feeling to their wives.

Men want to quickly finish things whereas women may take a little longer.
In marriage, however, husbands must be patient toward wives whereas wives should respect husbands’ time.

Maturity

It is the degree of acceptance of responsibility.
Mature men take responsibility for their thought, words and action. They refuse to blame others when they make a mistake.
When men begin to think like an adult, they will start to behave like one too.
To make mature decisions, men need values and principles.

Principles help men to determine right and wrong.
The devil often tempts men in the grey area.
To resist temptation, men need to acquire principles in advance. After all, the devil is a savvy salesman.
Some of the principles: "Honesty is the best policy," "You reap what you sow," “Life is brief, there is not time for everything.” 
Mature men think of consequences of their decisions in long term. Hence, they decide based on unchanging principles.

Decisiveness

Mature men make quality decisions quickly and confidently.
They arrive at the correct solution sooner than later.
Mature men decide based on the word of God using the wisdom from God.

Some decisions are concerned with priority. How do we tell someone’s priority?
By looking at how where he/she spends the money and time.
Mature men can quickly decide about spiritual health, family and physical health as they spend their money and time on it.

Some decisions are reversible and some are not. When making a long term decisions, mature men take their time.

Mature men guard their time wisely. They are not always available at the request of others.
Mature men decide things based on God’s word. While God does not dictate decisions, He will guide in the decision making.
Sometimes, it is not so soon to receive wisdom from God in decision making.
We can keep praying and praying until God grants us the wisdom.

Consistency

Consistency is firmness of character. It is ability to make quality decisions times and again, regardless temptation the devil offers.
Character is who we are when no one else is watching.
When our actions are in sync with our values, we will have peace in heart.
Mature men proclaim virtue of godliness and live it out.
When a man breaks becomes inconsistent in his language or behavior, his wife readily notices it and wants to know the reason.
Occasionally, a woman can overlook/forgive her husband’s inconsistency.
Nevertheless, mature men must be consistent as long as possible.
After all, as the principle says, “We reap what we sow.”

Some men procrastinate in making decision. Some others are impulsive in making decision.
Both are poor decision making skills.

Strength

Strength is a matter of integrity. It is courage to live out principles regardless of the crowd. 
Real men display strength from gentleness and kindness, not anger.
Real men control their thought, speech and action.
It may seem difficult to possess self control. But with God’s help, it is possible.

Posted June 20, 2016 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in A. R. Bernard, Book Review

Photo of The Day: Four Things Women Want From A Man

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Early birthday present from a bookstore ministry member!
There is a miraculous story behind this book.
Gonna share the story on Friday.
And yes, there is a way to know what a woman wants.

Pastor A. R. Bernard 24, October, 2015 Peace of the Believer

God gives people for different seasons for our lives. He also gives people for throughout our lives
Proverbs 17:17
Friend is someone i can count on even when i mess up because a friend loves at all times.
Brother is born for adversity. There are people God gives to us in such a way as though they share the same blood as us.

The gospel of John sees Jesus as God. John spoke intimacy between Jesus and His disciples. At the Last Supper, Jesus had such intimate communion with the disciples.
In chapter 13, Jesus washed His disciples’ feet. He demonstrated that the attitude of believers should be that of service and humility.
He assured them that the Holy Spirit would take His place to guide them.
In chapter 16, Jesus told them what would happen ahead of them.
John 17, Jesus prayed for them.
Jesus suppressed His personal feeling so He could encourage them.
John 16:33
Jesus spoke of tribulation in 2 ways.

Great tribulation (Matt 24): The kingdom of Israel experiences prosperity so much that the surrounding nations are envious and attack Israel.

Tribulation. Suffering and affliction common to all human beings. It is different from bearing the cross of Christ. This affliction won’t go away once we become Christians. We simply deal with affliction in God’s way.

Job 14:1
He lost his health, family and wealth. Even friends accused him of wrongdoing.
Even if we live to 70-80 years old, it is still short as compared to human history. We experience trouble even if we experience good times.

John 16:33
His promise: We will have tribulation. In Him, we will have peace as He is the Prince of Peace. Peace from the world is not genuine peace.
Jesus overcame the world. Our faith in Him makes us overcomers. We can have peace too.
Isaiah 26:3
In distress, our mind is filled with everything but God. We need to discipline our mind to trust in God.
Peace is not the absence of tribulation. Peace is the presence of trust in God. If we don’t experience peace, it means we don’t trust God.
It’s a peace when we believe God is in control and has the best interest for us in His heart.
Job 13:15
Job assumed God was behind his suffering. Although he couldn’t reconcile his situation with his theology, although he thought God would slay him, he still trusted God.
The greater we trust God, the greater the peace.
If there is anything the devil tries to do, he wants us to stop trusting God

Posted October 29, 2015 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in A. R. Bernard, Sermon

Pastor Bernard’s Sermon 23, May, 2015

Matt 13 and mark 4.
Mark represents the growth of the Gospel. 30,60, 100. It will keep growing until the day He comes.
In Matt, it is 100, then, 60 then 30: The acceptance of the word keeps decreasing until the day He comes.

3 obstacles for people to receive the word of God: Satan, flesh and the world.
The world hinders the word the most.
Daniel 4.
Daniel foresaw the rise and the fall of kingdoms. Daniel was used by God to interpret dreams.
God created a need only Daniel could meet.
Dan 4:23
Although the empire would be cut down, the influence is still on the earth. The tree isn’t just about Nebuchadnezzar.
In fact, the influence of Babylon is still felt in the book of Revelation.

The earliest culture of Summerian was established: Counting based on 10 and 6.
We should not underestimate the power of culture as it can affect us after many years.
CHC is the pioneer of a new culture.

Those who control language control the conversation.
There are those who claim they are not religious, they are spiritual. However, spirituality has to be authenticated.
Human capacity is dynamic. We have the potential to grow. We need to increase spiritual capacity.

Spirituality: Capacity to know and experience God.
Every human being has that capacity. That is why we have many religions in the world.
Without revelation, we will make our own gods. When they see the sun or storm or wind, they make them their gods.
Toronto blessing: Example of experiencing God without knowing.

We can experience God in prayer, worship, meditation, fasting, in spiritual community, faith-based movie and literature and in everyday life.
How to know God? The Scripture.
We could not have had the information unless God revealed it.
Deficiency of knowledge makes us not knowing God’s power.
The Scripture: Patterns and principles to teach us how the universe works, plans and purposes God has for humanity.

Relevance isn’t fashion or tattoo. It means
1. Practical. It must be reasonable to do and to experience.
2. Socially applicable. We live in community. It relates to everyday life
It doesn’t matter which industry we are in. Our faith is relevant.

Posted May 31, 2015 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in A. R. Bernard, Sermon

Dr. A. R. Bernard Addressing An Open Letter

http://www.citynews.sg/2015/02/dr-ar-bernard-addresses-chew-eng-hans-open-letter/

A food for thought as I read Pastor Bernard’s reply to an open letter as mentioned in City News
Following is what Pastor Bernard said:

“There’s a reason why I didn’t respond at all. And that’s because I understand that he is hurt, angry, bitter.
And hurt people hurt people. So I wasn’t surprised by the tone of his open letter.

“The Scripture warns us about the root of bitterness that not only defiles the bitter person, but all those he associates with.

“So I am praying for him, his family and all his associations.”

I like that line ‘hurt people hurt people.
Kinda reminder for me.
Some time back, Pastor Bernard preached about changing lens when we deal with people.
So, whenever I see someone offending someone else (or even me), I should immediately change my lens.
I should try my best to see his/her heart.
Could it be that he/she is actually hurt in the inside that he/she hurts others too?

Perhaps, once I am able to change my lens,
I will feel compassionate toward that offending person instead of feeling angry or upset.

Pastor A. R. Bernard’s Sermon 1, February, 2015

Gen 3:15
It was prophetic word of the conflict between Christ and the devil.
The announcement starts with preparation in OT and is manifested in the Gospel.
Lord Jesus rebuked the Pharisee for not knowing Him. The announcement continues with propagation and transition in Acts.
Even though we are Gentiles, we should understand the Gospel in the Jewish context.
The announcement continues with explanation in the Epistles to reconcile law and grace.
The announcement then ends in consummation in the Revelation.
Lord Jesus, after resurrection, opened the disciples’ understanding of OT as it speaks of Him.

Everything God does, He does it on a pattern and it is based on a principle.
Pattern: Model/blueprint/design for the way things happen or are done. Principles: Broad and basic truth.
Pattern: The way things happen. Principles: Why things happen

Exodus 25:2-3, 8-9
These items are for the building of the Tabernacle. This is a serious instruction as God wanted Moses to follow a pattern.
This pattern speaks of the way people approach God, about body-soul-spirit of humanity.

Mark 4:13
30, 60, 100 fold. This shows the level of commitment. We can move from 30% or 60% commitment to 100% commitment.
We need to understand the parable of the shower before understanding the rest of the parables.
With patterns and principles, we can unlock the mystery of the Bible.

Give and it shall be given to you. Life reciprocates. No one gets away with anything.
Principle in human relationship: We shorten distance by withholding affection. We create distance by giving affection.

Mark 4:26-28
Pattern: Everything begins in seed form and then grows into experience. Life is a process.
We should be committed to the process and not only the end result.
God’s pattern for progress is the pattern for promotion. When we do well in one pattern, God promotes us into the next level.
Promotion requires change. Change means we become different.
Don’t ask God to promote us if we aren’t willing to change.
Don’t pray for above-average pay if we are not willing to become above-average workers.

The Bible is filled with patterns on decision making and human relationship. We need to spend time understanding it.

You can buy his sermon here:
http://www.theinkroom.com.sg/http-sermon-weekly-english-s3-amazonaws-com-2015-05-weekendservice-sunday-arb-mp3.html

Pastor A. R. Bernard’s Sermon 31, January, 2015

20th century is the rise of ideology.
There is a conflict of ideology. It is no longer war among nations.
Lord Jesus mentioned about the end of the age. He mentioned about the conflict of nations and kingdoms.
Nations: Ethnicity. Ethnic identity transcends even national identity.
The Bible starts with garden and ends with a city.
City is where culture meets culture. It has direct effect on the ministry of the church. Hence, a church needs certain lens through which a church sees life.

Luke 11: 33-36
Lord Jesus responded to Pharisee’s request to give signs.
He refused to do so because they had the wrong way of understanding Jesus.
They had the wrong lens of seeing Jesus. People make judgment through lens they have.

Luke 10:25
This lawyer flattered Jesus by calling Him teacher. Jesus asked him of his conclusion, the way he read the Law.
The lawyer summarized the Law very well. The lawyer then wanted to justify himself by asking who his neighbor was.
Loving God is difficult to quantify. Loving neighbor is is easier to demonstrate through good works.
Lord Jesus knew all along it was about the lens. Neighbor is whoever needs help and crosses our way regardless of the race.
The center piece of the parable is the wounded man. How do we see wounded man?
To the expert of the law, wounded man is a topic for discussion, not a man to help.
To the bandits, the wounded man is the object of exploitation. To the priest, the wounded man is a a trouble to be avoided.
To the Samaritan, the wounded man is social responsibility.
In life, we need to constantly adjust our lens. Otherwise, we will judge people wrongly.

Micha 6:6-7
Religious people base their relationship with God on ritual and practice. However, God wants more than that.
Worship elevates ourselves from humanity as we meet God. We can then face challenges from top perspective, not bottom perspective.

You can buy his sermon here:
http://www.theinkroom.com.sg/http-sermon-weekly-english-s3-amazonaws-com-2015-04-weekendservice-saturday-arb-mp3.html