Archive for the ‘permanence’ Tag

Book Review XXI: Defending Traditional Marriage


Well, somehow I read a lot of books regarding relationship.
Naturally, I do so as I want to invest in future marriage. It’s good to learn about marriage early.
This book is about 4 parts of wedding vow:
1.) extraordinary care. 2.) sexual exclusivity. 3.) permanence. 4.) between one man and one woman.
It deals with the marriage itself and the law regarding marriage.

To love and to cherish: extraordinary care
Marriage begins with extraordinary care to permanently sustain romantic feeling.
This concept is known as Love Bank. The more care we do, the more deposit we make into our spouse’s love bank.
The biggest deposit we can make is when we meet each other emotional needs.
2 biggest emotional needs of a wife is affection and intimate conversation.
2 biggest emotional needs of a husband is sexual fulfillment and recreational companionship.
In contrast, the biggest withdrawal from love bank (i.e. Love buster) includes
– selfish demands
– disrespectful judgment,
– angry outburst, dishonesty
– annoying habit
– independent behavior.
With respect to independent behavior, we can eliminate it by carrying Policy of Joint Agreement:
making decision that includes each other’s feeling, creating interdependent behavior.

Sexual exclusivity: forsaking all others
Affair is one of the most devastating experience in life.
Dr. Harley believes lawsuit is one of the best ways to end an affair.
This is especially important to protect the betrayed spouses.
Several ways we can do to prevent infidelity:
– to limit our most intimate conversation to our spouse
– to prevent non-family member from knowing any dissatisfaction in marriage,
– to limit our most enjoyable leisure or recreational activities with our spouse,
– to tell our spouse if we find other people attractive or if other people find us attractive.
The easiest way to detect an affair is to see how much time a spouse spends away from home.
Even after an affair, restoration of romance is possible.

Till death to us apart: permanence
Couples who stay married for life tend to be healthier, wealthier and happier.
Permanence in marriage provides a stable and secure environment to raise children.
In contrast, children are the ones who suffer the most in a divorce.
Even unhappy couple should stay married as the unhappiness will disappear once they give each other extraordinary care.
There are only very few valid reasons for divorce. Extraordinary care makes couple stay in love and hence prevents divorce.

To be your wedded husband/wife: between a man and a woman
Swedish study showed same sex couple experienced much higher divorce rate than heterosexual couple.
Hence, homosexual relationship compromises children’s welfare.
The good news is: it is possible for gays/lesbians to become heterosexual people.

Well, as of now I don’t think The Ink Room has this copy in stock.
When it does, do grab a copy of it, ok?