Archive for May 31, 2013

Thanking God For All Things: Lesson in Rejection

Some time back, Pastor Phil Pringle preached from Eph 5:18-20.
In short, we should thank God for all things.
Indeed, there is another verse which says we should thank God in all things.
The latter is easier to do than the former.
It is really not easy to thank God for difficult experience we go through.
The key to do so is by understanding that God allows such an experience to happen so we’ll become more mature in Him.

One thing I am learning to thank God is for girls’ rejection.
I used to approach many girls, one girl at a time.
Yet, all of them ran away from me no matter what strategy I employed. It was really a painful experience.
Pain after pain, disappointment after disappointment, tear after tear (there are not many things which can make a guy cry, btw).
Initially I kept asking God, “WHY??!!” But now, I thank God for them. There are at least 3 lessons God has taught me.

First, maturity.
I used to be very naive about everyone. I used to think
– everybody could easily find his/her right life partner and they all would live happily ever after
– I had all it took to maintain a relationship
– everybody could easily adjust his/her personality and lifestyle to match his/her life partner.
All this naivety of mine makes me think things would be easy and smooth. Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
All the pain causes me to grow up, to realize that this is a harsh world (quite like survival of the fittest).
I thought I was ready for a relationship but now I realize I was nowhere near ready as I had not grown up at that time.
All this pain has shown the importance of being wise like a serpent but harmless like a dove.

Secondly, preparation for Miss Right.
Now I don’t know if God purposefully planned this whole pain (after all, a potter intentionally puts a clay into fire).
I think it is more like God allowing me to follow my naivety so I learn a lesson which otherwise I will not learn.
For instance, I liked a particular girl even though I didn’t know she was Miss Wrong.
Then whenever I prayed, I felt the Lord telling me to just try.
Because of God’s apparent permission, I then did deep research on her lifestyle, personality and character which otherwise I would never have done.
Eventually, even though she rejected me, I would still retain some memory of her lifestyle, personality and character.
In the future, when I get attached to Miss Right, I will thank God as I compare her with the previous target.
Maybe I’ll say something like, “Oh God, thank You the previous target ran away from me. She spent money like nobody’s business unlike my girlfriend.” :p

Third, to let go.
To let go is a very important skill I must learn, for example to let go of an offense (ie to forgive).
(Btw, I am not saying they hurt me when they rejected me. I didn’t need to forgive them as my own feeling hurt me, not them).
I thank God that because of girls’ rejection, I’ve learned to let go of my feeling and to look forward.
I stumbled upon a Fb post by Tinashe Maruta. I think he gave a very good analogy (sorry if it sounds very man-centered).
A man is like a sailor in a big ship on the ocean going to a certain destination.
Along the way, he meets a small ship with a woman in it.
He may try to invite and convince the woman to join him in his big ship to his destination.
However, after some time, if she says no, he should respect her decision.
The big ship should still go and continue with his journey to his destination. He should not stop or turn back or go to another destination.

There is still at least one serious impact from all this pain which I feel until now.
Yet, I believe God will heal me of this impact one day.
Thank God for those rejection!

A quote from Jiraiya from Naruto series which I find it true.
”Rejection makes men stronger.”

Posted May 31, 2013 by Jefri Yue Fei 吴岳飞 in Thought